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Friday, 06/03/2005 - 07:48 PM PDT
The topic: Handsome's College of Street Smarts
Hello there and welcome to Handsome's College of Street Smarts. I'm Handsome and this is my school.
If you've searched high and low for a school that offers what you need and you want a curriculum that will help you in real life, not some wussiefied fancy schmancy courses that other schools offer, this is the place for you.
Here you'll find many different classes that will help you to get by in your daily life. You won't find cooking courses, classes in computer repair or gardening. Nope, that's not what you'll learn here.
At HCoSS, you'll learn such useful thing as the fine art of levitation. This comes in handy when you're being chased by a large dog or small, unruly child.
You can also amaze your friends at catnip parties.
We have courses in camouflage, which Richie demonstrates for you,
We'll help you to overcome your fear of heights, by starting you out on a short beam and gradually take you up to the tallest branches of a tree. You'll also learn to overcome your fear of cleaning yourself in public. There is nothing wrong with a quick bath when one is needed. Better a moment to wash, than to walk around with little berries hanging from your butt fur. Other cats can be so quick to point and snicker and make fun of your personal hygiene habits.
Another one of the more popular courses at HCoSS, is the course in the "Glowing Cat Eyes" that we so often find useful in our daily life, when we are able to put others under our spell. In the picture above,
Kirby shows some new students how it's done.
In the image above, Daniece practices on a young possum. In the picture below, Katie and Mystie practice on a visiting King snake, helping him to find his way under the gate.
Of course, there are also classes in street fighting. Street fighting will become second nature to you, where you'll even be doing it in your sleep!
In the photograph above, Bart is showing his style. He's most likely dreaming of getting his paws around the neck of an enemy.
Richie practices the back leg neck throttle on his sister, Daniece. (Don't worry, nobody was hurt.)
And it's not all work, work, work, learn, learn, learn here at the College of Street Smarts. Every Friday, it's time to cut loose. There is plenty of tuna juice in the kitchen (here the students try to see how many of them can get into a bowl at one time)
And plenty of catnip on the patio.
So, if you're wanting more in a school than computing, gardening and cooking, if you want knowledge you can really use, then Handsome's College of Street Smarts is for you.
(And don't tell anyone you heard it here, but a little birdie told me that the head of that so called "University" is a scam artist and planning on leaving the country once he's gotten all of the tuition. Of course, that would never happen here...I promise...)
Replies: 4 comments
We wanna cum to yours skool!!! Kin we, huh, huh......purrs.........
Posted by Patches and Mittens @ 06/04/2005 08:50 AM PDT
Where do we sign up?!
Posted by Cerise and Lilly @ 06/04/2005 08:59 AM PDT
Oh my God, that is too cute. Tell Handsome he is an adorable professor
Posted by Tamara @ 06/05/2005 07:27 PM PDT
Step away from the catnip!
Posted by Lisa @ 06/06/2005 06:29 AM PDT
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