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Tuesday, 04/29/2003 - 09:58 AM PDT
The topic: I can't help it, I'm depressed

Tuesday, April 29, 2003 I can't help it, but I'm feeling depressed. Because of the out fronts, because of Lucky, because of DeeJay.

I'm not optimistic about the out fronts right now. OC hasn't been hanging around much at all. I haven't seen him this morning. I didn't see him yesterday morning, either, but I did see him across the street in the early afternoon. SpotTee was over this morning and there's something wrong with his tail. And I'm starting to believe that this all happened the night the kittens went missing. I think SpotTee and OC tried to defend the kittens and got hurt in doing so. And what's really tearing me apart is the idea that maybe the kittens were in that cathouse on the bank when this all happened. Brian is going to make a deck of sorts for the house, so that there's an L shape to get into it. That way, no varmint or coyote can just poke its head in as I feel happened to the kittens. And I just can't shake it and I'm really bothered by it. Yes, if we'd been able to trap her, the kittens would have been aborted, they'd still not be around, but to have them eaten as I imagine they were. God, I just can't get it out of my head. It's rolling around and rolling around, eating at me and I'm so upset about it. I look outside and there are no cats. No KittyMeeze on the bank, no OC under the car. No Little Bit running around, being adorable. And she is back in heat. Last night, Repete was going after SpotTee. Unless he was going after him because SpotTee isn't feeling well. I hate coyotes. I really and truly hate coyotes. I hate them more deeply than I've hated anything in my life.

And then I found out this weekend that Munchkin died last Thursday. Munchkin was the dog of old Yeller, the guy next door. They got Munchkin when the lady of the house and I used to go walking in the mornings. She followed us home and found a great place to live. She's been diabetic for about a year and Thursday, she had a stroke. There wasn't anything that could be done, so they said goodbye to her. We now have Munchkin's pads (Junior likes the big square one) and her Igloo doghouse. The doghouse is in the front, behind the dumpster with it's opening kitty cornered to the gate/wall. Cats can go in and out of it easily, but it's a little tougher for other, larger animals. Another safe house, I hope.

Damn. The kittens, Screamer, Munchkin....and then on Saturday, another online cat lover lost her twenty year old kitty. This cat was given about two weeks in January 2002 and made it well over that. The post letting us know Susie was gone just broke my heart.

"And God asked the feline spirit...'Are you ready to come home?'

And she whispered 'yes'"

DeeJay threw up this weekend. He's just not feeling good. He's eating lots, but he just seems under the weather. I gave him his fluids a day early and I gave him an amoxicillan this morning, I'll do the week long treatment. Hopefully, it's just some little odd thing. I hate it when he gets sick. Lucky is doing better, we've finished the antibiotics and now, she's just on the steroids for another couple of weeks. I think the antibiotics were getting her down (I remember the medicine I got when I had my tooth infection, it knocked me on my butt, I was sleeping all of the time). I hope the polyps shrink with the help of the steroids, because I don't think anything else is going to happen (like surgery).

Brian commented on Oliver's gait yesterday. He said "he's not limping!" I noticed last week after his chiro appointment that it was less and each day it's gotten even better. Now, there is no noticible limp at all. And he's getting less bitey. Brian said "when is his next appointment?" and asked how much we pay per visit. "A hundred dollars?" No, it was eight seven, but I think the followup appointments will be less since there's no comprehensive examination. Anyway, we're just both really pleased that the acupuncture and adjustments have already made such a big improvement.

I just love this face!

Ciara has been particularly affectionate. When I sit on the sofa, she's all over me, wanting to be close and in my lap and in my face. And she purrs up a storm. It's really nice, but it's kind of tough when another cat wants to share. But I so love her curling up against me.

Bart has rediscovered the bedroom. For years, he slept in the garage, or in the living room or in the family room, but last week, he found the bedroom again. And now, he sleeps with us at night and he can be found snoozing in there during most of the day. Whenever I walk into that room, I'm greeted by his "ruhwow?" He sleeps up by the pillows while Oliver sleeps at the foot of the bed.

I'm having problems with my diet. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of yummy treats out under the Smart Ones label. That's the Weight Watchers food label. Well, I bought some and it's really tough for me to not go munch on one or two when I feel like it. Because I've been feeling more and more like it. This weekend, I didn't even count points. Not that I did that badly, but I can feel myself slipping out of as much as I've done. And I have to put a stop to it. I truly want to lose weight and the only way that will happen is for me to stop stuffing my face. My clothes are fitting more loosely and that's nice. I'm feeling lots better and that's nice, too. The walk we went on this morning, a walk that's been killer on me every time we've done it, was much easier than it's been in the past. I was amazed when I realized where we were and how I was feeling. I was breathing almost normally. Of course, my legs were a little rubbery by the time we got home, but I didn't care. It actually felt good. I got some more new shorts at CostCo last night. Brian says "aren't they a little short?" I didn't think they were. I'm hoping to be wearing them by the end of May at the latest. They're a size 14. I've got some 16s that I bought in years past that I should be in soon, heck, maybe I can even get into them now, it's just not been warm enough to try. And this year, I will work on my tan and go swimming a lot more than I did in recent years. I find I'm spending less time online, more time being active, doing things around the house. Maybe by summer, I'll be ready to start reading books by the pool. I'd love to be in a 12 by my birthday in October. I really would. Even with the "treats" I'm eating, I'm staying under my points, but I'd really like to get out of the habit of wanting to eat those treats. It's not like I'm hungry. I just have to train myself to do something else until the feeling passes, yanno?

I'm very disappointed with Susie's Scents. On March 1, I ordered a hundred dollars worth of candles, using Paypal. There was a twenty dollar shipping charge. Well, she got her money and I have no candles. And since I used Paypal and the money was drawn directly from my bank account, I have no recourse. She's not responding to my emails. So, if you've ever gotten anything from her in the past, consider this a warning. She's a very bad business person. I was just screwed out of $120.00. Stay away from Susie's Scents or her wholesale site, Candles for Wholesale. And you can tell her I said so. The really sad thing is I really like her work. Her candles were the best I've ever had. *sigh*

I got a new puzzle product, this one only has thirty pieces. Same price and size as the original, just easier for little hands. I also have a new puzzle for sale. I made one yesterday and put it together last night. It's easier than some of the others, I think. And I've got a new shirt design. Today, I hope to have three new shirts for sale. The "gasbag" shirt (which you can't even tell it says "gasbag" unless you examine it; it just looks like a bunch of flowers...*grin*), another shirt with baby lisa and the blanket, surrounded by flowers and the KMFWA shirt.

Replies: 8 comments

Cheer up, lady! You are so good to so many cats. I know it's sad when the animals go to heaven. I've lost two cats who were sisters, less than 6 months apart. Losing them hurt like hell, but I have three more to keep me company.

Posted by Lisa McDowell @ 04/29/2003 11:36 AM PDT

And good luck with the WW diet. I'm thinking about doing it myself. I'm 5'7" and top the scale at 275!!! I envy your size 18 and 16. It's been a while since I saw those numbers on this body! :blush:

Posted by Lisa McDowell @ 04/29/2003 11:38 AM PDT

Maybe the kittens passed before any harm could come to them? Just a thought. Sorry it's got you down so much, but the news about Oliver sounds positive! Don't worry the outfronts always show up eventually after they sleep off their battle wounds.

Posted by Melanee @ 04/29/2003 07:19 PM PDT

I'm still bawling too over Susie.. It is so bloody painful to have them leave. :(
Sorry about the kittens.. I keep hoping that maybe the tortie is mothering them..
Hope things start going better for you.. Sure sounds like you are getting in shape

Posted by granny @ 04/29/2003 11:34 PM PDT

I was worried when I could not reach the catcam for several days previous. Glad you are OK. Remember grieving is a normal part of dealing with loss and you will not feel this way forever. My tortie gets her cast off today (I hope)... Cheers

Posted by HollyK @ 04/30/2003 06:13 AM PDT

You know.. I went to check out those candle sites, to see what I shouldn't buy, and they have been taken down, or just aren't there. Perhaps she is going through a rough time or something.. Defiantely doesn't feel right.

Posted by Tia @ 04/30/2003 07:41 AM PDT


They're up and running again today. I do hope she gets a real merchant service. Because with a real one, you can't legally process the charge until the shipment is made. Much better for consumers.


Posted by lisaviolet @ 05/01/2003 09:05 AM PDT

:angry: Susie's Scents does SUCK! I got ripped off, too. I filed a report on

(Rip off Report) She is evil!

Posted by Lee Musielak @ 01/28/2004 01:19 PM PDT

lisaviolet is fifty something, married with no kids, takes care of lots of cats, likes taking photographs, loves Southern California weather and spends altogether too much time avoiding her responsibilities.

April 2003

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